大祐 Dayo
三年前，這些都是在我⾝上的代稱，敗家⼦、嗑藥仔、啃老族。
三年前的我覺得⾃⼰想要被關注，想要被⼈喜歡，想要被⼈愛，想要成為圈內紅⼈，再加上⼯作時間很長，⽽且當時沒什麼朋友， 再加上下班時間都很晚了，所以沒事就是開始使⽤所謂的娛樂性藥物。圈內統稱 HIFun，那個時候的我….只想要被男⼈佔 有，享受⾁體上的歡愉跟⾁體上的滿⾜，那時候的我覺得只有激烈的性愛才能讓我獲得救贖，才會有⼈覺得我是值得被關注的，當然…不是⼀切順遂的。其中當然也是有許多糟糕的事情，被⼈喧賓奪主的對待，家裡東⻄被偷，甚⾄⾃⼰也⽣病了，不論是⾝體或是 ⼼靈，甚⾄最糟糕的…不過現在想想好像這就是我救贖的開端，被警察釣⿂，然後被抓， 最後被送到勒戒所。 那時候被抓進去，認識了⼀個弟兄，他就在我們快要離開的時候說：我們來打賭好嗎？ 我記得你媽媽也是信主的對嗎？我就說：好啊！你要賭什麼？他跟我說：如果我們今天同時出去，你就要去受洗信主！如何？ 我也很乾脆的答應他，結果….真的不能試探神阿…我們真的同時出去了！事後其實在勒戒所裡⾯也是時常讀聖經，寫聖經的抄寫本， 甚⾄爸媽都苦⼝婆⼼的說，不能再繼續錯下去了，還有很多⼈愛你，希望我好好反省⾃ ⼰的過錯。 我便開始學習禱告，結果很多事情都開始奇妙的成真，我覺得那時候我也想要在主裡⾯成為⼀個新造的⼈，最後我選擇了我的31 歲 ⽣⽇那天受洗，因為我覺得…這⼀天是我⺟親付予我⽣命，我現在的新⽣命是神賦予我 的，我希望我往後的⽇⼦想起這天，都會記得當時犯下的錯誤，也要朝著標竿直跑，繼續努⼒。 後來⽗親罹癌，我也暫時離開⼯作幫忙照顧
⽗親，過了沒多久，⽗親因為⼼臟疾病⽽回了天家，那時的我哀痛且迫切的禱告，祈求 ⽗親可以撐過去，不過他還是離開了，當時的葬禮風波也非常多，我也⼀直被家裡的長輩當作針對的對象，我真的很⽣氣，我也只能跟媽媽說，那時媽媽告訴我：你要忍耐， 你要相信神會幫助你，媽媽也會陪著你，好嗎？把他們的謾罵，尖酸刻薄的話語當作你的養分，我相信神公義的右⼿會扶持著你！ 我也就在葬禮當中忍下這些討厭的事情，雖然真的很⽣氣不過還是吞下去。 不過我很感謝神讓我有這段時間陪伴著最愛我的⽗親，他離開了，不過我也該學著長⼤了… 最後我在原本的教會覺得跟⼩組成員沒有甚麼連結，便跟神禱告說：求神給我⼀個應許
之地！我要在那邊有所作為！我希望可以幫助更多的⼈！
通過謝⼩宗弟兄的引導我來到了同光這個⼤家庭，在這裡我很開⼼，不只跟神的關係開始變好，從原本的試探神跟把神當作許願 機，到現在的全⼼奉上⾃⼰跟單單相信神， 相信他的引導，他會照亮我的道路！我也開始參加關愛之家的志⼯服事，有時候也會開導⼩組內懷疑⼈⽣的弟兄，⼀直到現在，神還是⼀直陪伴著，也讓我開始規劃唸神學院的計畫。我相信，我未來的道路，都是恩典之路，因為那個浪⼦已經回頭了。
Three years ago, these were my labels - family disgrace, drug addict, and home parasite.
Three years ago, I felt the need for attention, to be liked and loved. I wanted to be famous in the circle. I worked long hours, usually finishing work very late, and didn’t have many friends at that time. I had nothing to do and so began to use recreational drugs. It was what people in the circle would called HIFun.
At that time, I just wanted the physical pleasure of being possessed by men. I felt that only rough sex could give me redemption, and only through sex that people would think that I was worthy of attention. Of course... things went sideways. A lot of bad things happened. People took advantage of me, stole from my home, and I fell sick, physically and mentally. But upon reflection, it seems that was the beginning of my redemption. I was entrapped by the police, arrested, and finally sent to a rehabilitation center.
At the rehabilitation center, I met a brother who said to me as we were about to leave: Shall we make a bet? I remember that your mother is a Christian, right? I just said: OK! What are we going to bet on? He told me: If we get released at the same time today, you are
going to get baptized! How about it? I readily agreed and the result... I really shouldn’t have tested God... We really were released at the same time! Actually, during my stay in the rehabilitation center, I often read the Bible and wrote down Bible passages. My parents would continually and patiently tell me that there are still many people who love me and I cannot continue on this path of self destruction, and hoped that I can reflect on my mistakes.
I began to learn to pray, and as a result, many miraculous things came to pass. I wanted to become a new person in the Lord, so I decided to get baptized on my 31st birthday,because I felt this was the day my mother gave me life, and on this same day God too will give me a new life. I hope that when I think of this day in the future, I will remember the mistakes I made in the past, and I will continue to press on towards the final goal.
Then my father developed cancer, and I had to take leave from work to help take care of him. Not long after, he returned to the Lord because of heart disease. At that time, in my sorrow, I prayed fervently that my father would recover, but he still passed on. There were many scenes of drama during his funeral, and I was the frequent target of the family clan elders. I was really angry, and I could only confide in my mother at that time. She told me to be patient,to believe that God will help me,and that she will be by my side, and to take their criticisms and mean words as my fuel for strength,and that she believed that God's righteous right hand will uphold me.
So I endured all these annoying things at the funeral. Although I was really angry, I swallowed my anger. I was very grateful to God for giving me this period of time to be by my beloved father’s side. He passed on, but I also needed to learn to grow up... Finally, I felt that there was no connection with the group members of my original church, so I prayed to God: Please give me a promised land! I want to make a difference over there! I hoped that I can help more people!
Through the guidance of Brother Xie Xiao-Zhong, I came to the big family of Tongguang. I am very happy here. Not only did my relationship with God began to improve, from the beginning with me testing God and using God as a wishing machine, to now where I wholeheartedly
present myself to Him, totally believing in Him and His guidance,trusting that He will light my path ahead! I began to volunteer at the Guan-Ai Care Home,and sometimes I also enlighten the brothers in the cell group who had doubts in their lives. Throughout all these,God has been with me, which made me to start planning to enter seminary training. I believe that my future path is the road of grace, because the prodigal son has come home.